Saying No to Say Yes

Being True to Yourself to Attract What You Want

By Robin Arnett - August 23, 2022

We often hear that being in a place of "yes" is important for attracting what we want into our lives. The energy of "this or something better" when you're focusing on bringing in your desires helps to facilitate flow and welcomes in abundance. At the same time, in the course of the healing journey, saying "no" can be equally important. In many ways, we need to be able to say no before we can say yes. No helps us to get clear on what we do and do not want, and gives us permission to set boundaries and ask for more. Embracing the power of no can be empowering and enlightening, and I welcome you to explore what this could mean for you. 

The Law of Attraction (LOA) is a powerful concept when you connect to and understand it. I can vouch that tuning in to the LOA has been a powerful practice for me and many of my clients. I refer to it often in my work, and I've seen it play out in startling ways. But as powerful as it is, the LOA is often misunderstood. This misinterpretation causes frustration, pain, and confusion for many people. One way that the Law of Attraction gets distorted is the idea that we should be happy with our circumstances at all times, regardless of what we are experiencing. 

It is true that it's important to find opportunities for growth in any situation that you are in. It's also true that we must find contentment and peace within ourselves, rather than seeking it from outside sources. Our inner peace depends on a well-functioning internal system, with core "self-energy" as our guide, and is a powerful attractive force. HOWEVER, our feelings are powerful messengers. When something isn’t right for us, we must listen to that message to get unstuck and move toward our highest good. Having a positive attitude and aligning with a high vibration does not mean that you pretend to like things that you don’t enjoy, or want things that you don’t desire. The emotional messages that we receive tell us when we need to set boundaries, rest, cut ties, and pass on what doesn't serve us.

Pretending to be happy with something that isn’t right for us is a way to shut down intuition. Our intuition will always give us powerful messages if we’re willing to listen to them, and “faking it” tunes those messages out. When we continue to do this over time, the Universe finds ways to shake us up and get us back on our path. (Think the unexpected breakup, losing a job, being forced to move, bodily illness, etc.). Intuition can’t be ignored forever. Faking it is also a form of grasping to what’s comfortable and known. When change is scary, inconvenient, or uncomfortable, we may tell ourselves that we’re happy as we are, when an inner voice is telling us that’s not true. 

Ignoring or subverting our feelings exiles “parts” of us that need to be heard in the interest of a healthy, cohesive internal system. We must listen, first and foremost, before we attempt to distract or reroute. Your parts will let you know when something is happening that isn't healthy or in your highest good. If they're ignored for too long, they can make you explode, shut down, and dissociate just to survive. Luckily, our parts all have good intentions for us, and will lead us in the right direction if we hear them out and balance their interests. 

Saying "no" can take many forms. I can look like setting a boundary in an unhealthy relationship dynamic, or passing on a job, even if it's the practical choice on paper. It can also mean taking time to rest and slowing down, especially when it feels like we're stuck on a treadmill. Saying no is an active response when it's done with intention. Starting with major life decisions and relationships can be intimidating when you're leaning into the energy of "no." You can start to embrace this energy in smaller, more concrete ways with items in your home, or even food. Cleaning out your closet and getting rid of a shirt that you don't really like or doesn't actually fit you well opens up a powerful energy of release and openness. Tossing leftovers from a meal that you didn't actually enjoy and making something fresh for yourself does the same thing. Both of these actions push against the energy of grasping, and help you lean into an abundance mindset. 

Saying no is, in fact, a tremendous act of faith. By saying no to what doesn’t feel right to us or doesn’t serve us, we are telling the Universe that we have faith that something even better is coming to us. We are willing to wait for what’s actually right. By saying no, we create space and time for good things to come in, and we preserve our energy for what we really want to do. It’s amazing how much can free up and simplify when we let go of what does not need to concern us . 

Faith is a high-vibe energy. Listen to your gut, take risks to follow intuition, and don’t be afraid to turn down, leave, or straight up say no to anything in your life that simply doesn’t feel right. The Universe will show up for you on the other side of that risk.

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