who, me

Recently, a client shared a poem with me that he wrote about his experience with EMDR and Internal Family Systems therapy. With his permission, I’ve shared it below. I greatly appreciate his openness, and hope this can provide a window into that world for others who are thinking about going on this journey.

who, me

vibrations fill my hands on alternate beats

thunderstorms rage between my canthi

bilateral stimulation and

trauma.  

spicy combo

 

she makes a safe space for me yet still, 

i drown in the lack of

what i believe everyone in the world

has already.

 

fighting back nature 

seems a task no human can take on.

yet each threat of the swell

crushes my skull 

never have i had such a desire 

to cry.

 

i feel a tombstone

living in my shoulders

sliding down to my collarbones

to cut off any 

emotion that it feels 

i cannot bear.

 

we call him Wallie,

frustration and resentment pair with 

compassion

a protector, parts misguided and outgrown

 

who are you, why do you take space here

do you not know you turn me into the thing i most fear

 

appreciation for this sense of lack

from others who did not provide,

 

so here i sit 

on a nonlinear path to heal.

 

for if one cannot feel, one must not 

be able to love

and if they don’t see my love

will they ever

love me?